Doug's Movie Club! 1999 Reviews
Here are some of the films that Doug's Club has reviewed over the year 1999!
But first, the Doug rating system:
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Whatever, Daddy-O. |
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El Sucko ! |
[12/26/99]
I don't particularly like the title of this film, and I certainly don't
like that waifish bad actress Winona, but I did enjoy this film overall!
Newcomer Joilee something-or-other plays the mental ward troublemaker, along
the lines of Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
She's does a great job, but all the hospital had to do to
keep her in line would be to withhold her cologen lip treatments. She'd
snap back in line pretty damn fast I suspect.
[12/19/99]
I'm a sucker for films set in this time period, which is at the cusp between the 50's and 60's.
Set in Italy for the most part, the cinematography is splendid and the clothes/style and little
details are very well done. Damon does a decent job, but it's Jude Law who steals the show
in my book. The ending? A little weird, but what're you going to do with that wacky plot anyway?
[12/12/99]
Normally I like Tim Robbins, as both an actor and director. This movie though is really
a vehicle for him to show off a number of talents to a specific set of people (Hollywood
insiders), and in doing so he shuns the masses. Now, for those of you who know me, you're
saying, "but Doug, you hate the masses!" Well, you're right, damn straight I do. But watching
this tripe pander to the vapid inner Hollywood circle made me ill. His film The Player
does a much better job.
[12/5/99]
To infinity and beyond! I saw this movie in an all digital format -- no film whatsoever in
projection booth! I'm not sure if I could tell the difference, but there were no little
white scratches and dots during the show, that's for sure. The voices, the story, and
of course the computer animation are all top notch. Even if there's no nudity, like in
all those cool Japanese animations, it's still a winner.
[11/28/99]
Michael J. Fox still has a career doing voice-overs, even if he is losing his hair from
whatever disease he has now. And he does a great job, along with the other voiceovers.
The animation is well done, and the story of course is great since it comes from that
renowned children's book. Great for kids and bored adults as well!
[11/21/99]
I like the premise, since it is adapted from a Issac Asmiov short story. Damn that
guy wrote some good novels, let me tell you. Pick up some and see how the
science fiction master did it! Anyway, this film moves along quite well until the
robot turns into Robin Williams. It would have better if it was an unknown actor
I think. Well, perhaps if you have never seen Robin in a movie before you'll like
it more. Hah! Good luck there; that greedy bastard has been in more films than
Gene Hackman!
[11/14/99]
I have to say, I was a hair away from the ol' El-Sucko on this one -- but
El Sucko it gets! I had high hopes,
since all the ingredients are here: those guys from Good Will Hunting,
that stoner dude with Silent Bob, Salma Hayek (well, at least her body double),
Chris Rock, and George Carlin. But the dialogue switches too often from religious
to comedic, and in between it tries to do both with mixed results. And what sort
of sick film has Angels running around with guns? The last straw for me was these
two-thousand year old angels quoting lame lines from The Six Million Dollar Man.
Puh-lease. You'll be better off renting Clerks instead of going to see
this over-ambitious letdown.
The Limey
[11/7/99]
The story is a pretty simple one, but this movie wins in how it's filmed. They cut
between scenes in a startling manner that leaves you wondering who is talking
and to whom. It's hard to explain, but I liked it! Plus, I always like to see some old
Limey kicking some ass! There's really no big twists or anything here, just
an enjoyable tale of revenge seen through some refreshing eyes.
[11/4/99]
I don't want to describe this film at all, because you really should just
go into it knowing nothing about it. In fact, you shouldn't even go into
it knowing that it is one of the best films this year, is nothing like
what you will expect, and is brilliant on a number of levels. So just go
see it, with an open, er, mind.
[10/29/99]
I really enjoy that Kevin Spacey guy. His final scene in L.A. Confidential
really clinches his fine acting in my view, and he does some more in
this one. Of course, Warren Beaty's wife does a great job too! Her solo
emotional scenes are powerfully done. It's easy to just look at this film
as a depressing look at suburban life in your 40's, but if you look just a
bit further, you'll see the diamond in the rough.
[10/27/99]
Scorsese, back in the streets of New York! I liked Nick Cage in this role,
as he swings back and forth between being a mellow loser, and a crazy
psychotic! A role any actor would relish. Ving Rhames has a
particularly good role for
a chance, and takes full advantage of it. But there's something missing
here to make this film satisfying. It's easy to not think about it too much
with the superb visuals you're hit with, as Scorsese films in wacky angles
and speeds.
[10/17/99]
This is one of those "you'll either hate it, or love it" films that it
seems men on the whole love, and women on the whole, hate. If you can see
past the violence, of which there is quite a bit (what do you expect with
the word Fight in the title?), there is a well thought out story
line here that has a great twist in it. We all have to
fight
our way through
life, but the lead character here does it a little differently than most.
Some folks think such a film will cause kids to start their own little fight
clubs, since I guess seeing it in the movies makes it cool, but guess what?
As soon as little Timmy gets his nose punched, he'll want no more of
that club, and will join the somewhat less violent Movie Club!
I give both Pitt and
Norton thumbs up here, but I still think Pitt's best performance is in
12 Monkeys.
[10/8/99]
George Clooney in a new role that is rumored to bring him kudos. Well, we'll
see. I actually enjoyed "Marky" Mark Wahlberg in his role, and I really enjoyed
how the movie was filmed... it has a grainy over-exposed quality and fast
cuts to strange viewpoints that worked for me. The stupidest thing about
the movie, is that these guys are going to steal a bunch of gold bars from
Sadaam, but how the hell are they going to get all this back on a plane?
Gold's just not as easy to carry around these days without donkeys.
[10/3/99]
This French film is subtitled, since it was filmed in France and everyone
in the film speaks French, and I actually saw it here in the U.S. where
people mostly speak Spanish. Anyway, this film is a great comedy, and I'm
glad it's subtitled rather than dubbed. There's just something funny about
the French language that would get missed otherwise! See it and laugh.
[9/12/99]
I like Pierce Brosnan these days. It used to be that I didn't, back when
he dressed in silly looking tight fitting suits in Remington Steele.
Those suits made him look even skinnier than he is and I could never buy
how he could knock out a criminal. In fact, that woman who was his partner
knocked out more badguys. Of course, she was a pretty tough broad. Anyway,
I liked The Thomas Crowne Affair.
[9/5/99]
Boy, I remember when I was a kid and saw Porky's. It was like having
a taste of the ol' forbidden fruit! Well, American Pie didn't
reproduce it for me. Perhaps 'cause I ain't no kid no more. If you're a
kid, I think you'll like this movie. Actually, if you're a kid you shouldn't
even be here browsing the 'Net -- go outside and play in the woods or
something! Don't you have some homework to do?
[8/29/99]
Bruce Willis sure does try a bunch of different roles, doesn't he? Well, except
for those three DieHard pictures in a row. Here, he plays a very
subdued role, and most of our attention gets focused on the boy's character.
The kid who plays the boy does a great job, really, and it's good we get
to focus on him a bit without Bruce running around with a machine gun or
something. But it's the story here that is great, because I was giving this
film a sideways thumb until the very last scene. So I guess it's the ending
that's great, not necessarily the story, except the ending really does
make the story that much better. Ah, just go see it.
[8/1/99]
Ohh, a spooky house! Oh no, ghosts and stuff! Yeah, yeah, yeah, show
me something scary for Christs sake. The thing I think is scary is how
many movies that Catherine Zeta chick can be in and not ever be naked.
What is Hollywood coming to these days when they allow such things?
Nudity should be foremost in her contract, damnit. Oh well, there's
always American Pie I guess. Why did I give this film a sideways
thumb? For the sets! The inside of this haunted mansion is a thing of
disturbed beauty. Man, when I get my first mansion I'm definitely putting
in at least one 50 foot high door with demons engraved on it.
[7/27/99]
You know, watching Jeff Bridges stare at the screen slack-jawed
and sweaty gets a little tiring after a while. Unfortunately,
that's pretty much all he does in this slow moving film about
a terrorist who is living next door. It does a good job of
generating suspense throughout, but also seems to drag things
out quite a bit. The main redeeming factor is the ending,
which was a great surprise since I was expecting a typical
hollywood ending. Oh, and the fact that Bridge's character
went to George Washington University! I wonder if he was
a Delt.
[7/22/99]
This movie is so ****ing funny that I rode it like a ***damn
roller coaster, just enjoying the wild ****ing ride! Of
course the animation is just as bad on the TV version, but
who gives a ****? It's the insulting dialogue and outrageous
innuendos that make this film work. The parodying
of Sadaam Hussein is so hilarious it will most likely cause some
****ing Middle Eastern ***hole to kill the creators of South Park,
and I love how the film understands that a good fart is, well,
funny!
[7/19/99]
I thoroughly enjoyed this film, based on a play by Oscar Wilde, who
himself has acheived a hipness these days through all kinds of
support including songs by The Smiths. The dialogue is sharp
and witty, the sets and costumes a visual feast, and the cast
exceptional. Oh, all right -- a little bit of sappiness at the end
threatens to ruin it, but if you get up to go to the bathroom during
it you will have absolutely no complaints!
[7/18/99]
A light fluffy film, to be sure, but it follows all the right formulas
they teach you at those L.A. screenwriting classes -- so how can you not
enjoy it? Julia does a good job at playing her character, which is a
famous actress. Gee, how about casting me sometime as an average guy
name Doug who has a webpage? I bet I could handle that. I suspect
most people's brains are wired to dislike that Hugh Grant, but somehow
he charms us nonetheless. So, basically, this picture has every logical
reason why you should hate it, but somehow you end up liking it.
Inexplicable!
[7/4/99]
Time-wise, it's a short film, but size-wise it's huge on the big 'ol
IMAX screen! I got caught up in the scenery as a bunch of suckers
climbed mount Everest and got real cold and tired. But damn that sreen
was big! As a bonus, that venerable Jedi Knight Liam Neeson does the
narration.
[7/3/99]
I thought this movie would suck, but ahhh, it's not too bad. Sandler is
looking fatter than usual here, and I'm not sure the role really called for
it. Steve Buscemi has an interesting cameo appearance, but it wasn't
as exciting a discovery as one would think.
Anyway, the kid is cute and Sandler does a good job of hazing him
for our amusement. But it's not as funny as Happy Gilmore when
he said to Bob Barker,
"The price is wrong, bitch!"
[6/24/99]
Damn, this crazy broad Lola runs her ass off in this film! It's a German
film, which instantly made me think it would be rude, offensive, and not too
funny since we all know that Germans don't do comedy -- they do beer.
But I found it funny and interesting, so don't believe those Beck's ads.
The film takes a different look at an afternoon sequence, and while the
technique is not new, it pulls off some surprises which I found
delightful.
[6/17/99]
I had heard so many disparaging remarks about this movie that I went in with
very low expectations. That's probably why I liked it! But don't let me
mislead you; that Jar Jar Binks character is quite annoying. In fact, the
excess of computer generated characters was getting on my nerves. But I
enjoyed Liam and Ewan as Jedi Knights, and the story line moved along nicely
from scene to scene. Oh, and try to forget what you know about the other
Star Wars movies... it sort of ruins the suspense.
[6/13/99]
This one I went in with high expectations since I enjoyed the first one so much!
Of course, you always get disappointed that way. Most of the humor is recycled
from the first, so many scenes failed to amuse. But the general wackiness won
me over from giving it a thumbs down. Oh yeah, and so did the Fat Bastard
character! Mike Myers must have been reading my mind.
[5/30/99]
Frogs getting cut open, people getting "bio-ports" installed in their backs
which look like a second anus, and the grossest chinese food scene I've ever
seen are the highlights of this disurbing film that was written and directed
by David Cronenberg. The premise here is that video game designers now
design games for your "bio-pod" which plugs right into your spinal column --
neat! Where can I get one? Of course, to get a bio-port you need to have
someone shoot you in the back with a large gun which looks a little
more painful than a nose piercing. But hey, you kids today need to do
something to outdo the last generation!
Entrapment
[5/16/99]
Talk about entrapment! I felt trapped in the theatre as this poorly written
movie about some cat thieves slowly bored me to death. I will admit I enjoyed
the scenes involving that big-ass building in Malaysia. Sean Connery is almost
enjoyable, if it weren't for his lamely written lines. Of course the girl in the
film is a little hottie, and if it weren't for the 42 year difference between
the two of them, I might have bought it. And then there's that stupid Ving
Rhames! He plays the meanest mo-fo around in Pulp Fiction, and then
proceeds to fill the rest of his film career with pansy-assed roles.
Buh-bye.
[5/6/99]
This music documentary starts up slowly but finishes with a nice feel to it.
The film focuses on a group of old Cuban Big Band musicians as they reminisce
about the old days and put together a final farewell show. The film is slow
at first because it's a bunch of old guys talking slowly, but it picks up as
you get to know them and see their final gig. My pal
Karim
was trying to get me to take a trip to Cuba, and after seeing the
scenes of how people live there, I'm fairly certain I made the right
decision to not go!
[4/22/99]
I was one of the fortunate few to see this film as an international premiere
at the
San Francisco Film Festival. And on my birthday, to boot!
The movie starts off visually slow, with the witty back-and-forth dialogue setting the pace.
This film is obviously directed by Mamet, whose films all possess
the qualities of a stage play. This forces you to focus on the character's
subtle movements and language. In a movie about the trial of a young boy,
where we never get to actually see the trial, it requires us to actually
pay attention. And you'll be pleased that you did.
Never Been Kissed
[4/18/99]
Drew Barrymore does an excellent job playing a 25 year old who goes back to
high school (undercover) as a reporter. This is tough for her character,
since she really was the definitive nerd when she went there as a kid.
This film touches on those "facing your past fears" moments. Drew does such a
good job with this character, that I was actually wincing during her
"nerdy" scenes. This movie takes a great turn when her brother, played
nicely by David Arquette, goes undercover as well to try and escalate
Drew's coolness factor. I was a bit putoff at the ending which seemed
a little contrived, but I guess it couldn't have been all that bad since a
guy in the theatre actually stood up, clapped, and cheered for her.
Now that guy is a nerd.
[4/11/99]
"Whoa." -- this line, delivered oh so well by Keanu Reeves, sums up this
wallop of an action movie! The F/X in this film are amazing, the action
strong and gripping, and I found the plot to be much better than expected.
The Matrix does a great job guiding us through the story, taking
the time (this is a long movie, almost 2 1/2 hours) to explain most things
and not just turn into a mindless action flick. The story reminds me
of the film
12 Monkeys
and the book
Neuromancer.
I liked this movie so much it is a must-pick when I finally get my DVD player!
Ed TV
[3/28/99]
Everyone seems to compare this film to The Truman Show, but did
you know that this film was written and in the works years before? Well,
it was. I liked the casting of Matthew
McConaughy and Woody Harrelson as brothers, and the fact that it was filmed
in San Francisco was nice. While McConaughy is being taped in a Real
World fashion, they run ads on the bottom of the screen for a number of
real S.F. establishments. I always applaud such attempts at reality!
The cast does an appreciable job, but I guess I was just not taken with the
plot. And I really hate watching TV when I'm at a movie.
Life is Beautiful (La Vita É Bella)
[3/22/99]
All I had to do was to see that wacky Roberto dancing around on people's
seats during the Oscars to know that I had to see this film! And I was
not disappointed. This movie brought a tear to my eye through both laughter
and sadness. It was halfway through this film when I realized that I had
seen Roberto before in
The Monster (Il Mostro)
which won some film
awards a few years ago. This guy is a comic genius even without having to
do a Jim Carry "make-my-ass-talk" trick!
Shakespeare in Love
[3/4/99]
I had heard a lot about this film before seeing it, as I had tried to go a
few times but the lines were outrageously long! "Go see it!" people would
say. "You'll love it!" "It's a wonderful love story!". Now, if I ever hear
someone say any of these things, it is a surefire reason why I should
not see a film. But, as it turns out, they were right. Damn I hate it
when they're right! I thoroughly enjoyed the entire cast, and the jokes
(sometimes quite obscure) that were sprinkled throughout.
I even shudder to say that I liked Gwen Paltrow. And
trust me, that's hard to admit.
[2/24/99]
On one hand, what we've got here is a somewhat standard "Guy's Movie", what
with Mel Gibson shooting a bunch of people and acting tough.
But for me, it breaks out of the mold with the filming and plot twists.
The film went through a "color washing" process which makes everything look
surreal in a dingy city. The architecture, and other little details like
car phones, all come out of a strange place that is both past and future.
Plus, the plot has enough turns in it to keep me guessing all the way to the
end, and there's a hot asian girl to satisfy a certain friend of mine. And
I'll admit it... I enjoyed Mel acting tough and shooting people!
[1/27/99]
A wee lit'l gem, this picture is! I love those darn Irish, and this film amused me with
the accents, the music, the old naked men, and keeping me wondering what was next!
The story moves along nicely, with funny peeks into a small village in Ireland, and
silly naked men. There's also a little boy who steals some scenes with his adult
insights, and smoking and drinking at a young age. Of course, in Ireland they're all
drinkin' and smokin' two weeks out of the womb. Did I mention the naked men?
The Thin Red Line
[1/23/99]
I'm giving this ordeal of a film a thumbs down for a few reasons: 1) It's too
damn long! 2) I'm sick of films hopping on a band wagon. This is one too many
WWII movies in the last 12 months. 3) I couldn't care less about any of these
characters. There was no meaningful development. 4) Throwing big name
actors in short scenes irritated me. Seeing Travolta was only slightly less
nauseating than that stupid Clooney guy. Do you really need any more reasons?
Go buy your enemy a ticket to this film and smile in glee at the look on their
face when they exit the theatre.
A Civil Action
[1/17/99]
Going into this film, I had low expectations (mostly due to my 'band wagon'
reason mentioned above) but I ended up respecting the way the film turned out.
I wasn't terribly impressed with the acting, and the storyline, and the court
scenes... hmm, I wonder what I liked? Well, I enjoyed watching
lawyers suffer
, and, uh, er... I guess that's it! But you know, sometimes that's
enough.
[1/3/99]
Tom Hanks is looking a bit fat, and Meg's darn perkiness is getting to me just a bit.
Plus, as a good friend points out, she's always wearing a cardigan sweater! I'm not quite
sure how I should feel about that, but it can't be good. I did like how the movie was
directed, and enjoyed the "little-book-store pitted against the big-book-store-chain"
story. However, the truth is that both these stupid bookstores are going to be put out
of business by that damn Amazon.com! My god, have you checked that
stock price lately? Sheesh.
[Editor's note: This was written when the stock was actually doing well]
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