Doug's Movie Club! 2002 Reviews

    Here are some of the films that Doug's Club has reviewed over the year 2002! But first, the Doug rating system:

    Dig it, baby! Whatever, Daddy-O. El Sucko !

    The Recruit

    [12/29/02] The damn trailer for this movie completely gave every little thing away. Curse the studio who released this film! My advice is to just see the trailer. That said, I do like that Colin Farrel, who I sometimes get confused with Will Farrel, and also, although not as often, Phil Collins. Su, su, sudeo! You loved that song when it came out, I bet.

    The Hours

    [12/22/02] A great translation to the screen, albeit a bit depressing. Kidman does a terrific acting job here, you might say she has a nose for it. I really liked that the one broad was baking a cake in the movie. That really got me hungry, I have to admit. And then they made a bunch of food for a party, sheesh that was killing me! I really have to make sure I eat before seeing a movie these days.

    Adaptation

    [12/15/02] Cage knocked me out with his double role in this film. Well done, lad! Makes up for Con Air, but NOTHING can make up for Gone in 60 Seconds for christsake. The plot seems kind of lame, some guy is having writers block, but the subtle humor throughout is very well done.

    Catch Me If You Can

    [12/08/02] Excellent. Wunderbar!

    Lord of the Rings 2

    [12/01/02] This second part was better than the first one! Also, did you know that the guy who plays Frodo was in Back to the Future Part II? Yeah, he was a punk kid who didn't have a line, but it's that curly haired hobbit all right.

    Star Trek Nemesis

    [11/24/02] Horrible film. Data seems to get killed, also. Sorry to ruin that for you, but you'll thank me for saving you.

    Bowling for Columbine

    [11/17/02] I saw this film in San Francisco, so of course the crowd was loving it. I enjoyed it also, since it makes fun of the NRA and how Americans are crazy for their guns. My favorite dialogue is with Charlton Heston:
      Q: Do you have guns in the house?
      HESTON: Certainly!
      Q: Have you ever used them?
      HESTON: No, but I have three handguns and a shotgun.
      Q: Why do you have all these guns?
      HESTON: To protect my home.
      Q: Isn't your home gated, with security guards, and also an elaborate security system?
      HESTON: Yes, but ... what are you getting at?
    He's getting at the fact that you are a dope! Wake up, white people! Nobody is coming to break into your homes! Sheesh, get a clue.

    Two Weeks Notice

    [11/10/02] Sandra Bullock doesn't grab me in this as she has in other films, but Hugh Grant was born to play this wise-crackin' role. So I say dandy to this film.

    I Spy

    [11/03/02] Comic magic! I can't wait to see the outtakes on the DVD one day. The crooked nose guy never fails to crack me up, and Eddie Murray manages to do a decent film for once in the past few years.

    Formula 51

    [10/27/02] Sam Jackson wears a kilt and has WAY too much screen time. Go back to being a Jedi!

    The Transporter

    [10/20/02] This movie has the bald guy from Snatch doing some half-assed martial arts. Count me in! Boy, that Snatch was a fun film, wasn't it?

    Sweet Home Alabama

    [10/13/02] Just two words: Perky fun!

    Trapped

    [10/6/02] Gee, how many degrees is Kevin Bacon away from "buh-bad"? None, I'm afraid.

    The Tuxedo

    [9/22/02] Gotta love that Jackie Chan, and toss in that hottie whose face looks like "Beaker" from the Muppet Show, and you got an okay film. Although I have to say that Chan's recent movies are getting a little too much away from the ass-kickin-chop-sockey than is advisable. Less talking, more a-chopin', I say!

    Read My Lips

    [9/15/02] As I sit here trying to write this review, I can't even remember what this movie was about! So it must really suck.

    Big Fat Greek Wedding

    [8/25/02] I didn't think too much of this "half-ugly girl gets guy" movie, but it got a bunch of awards and stuff so it can't be too bad. It has a coupla laughs, don't get me wrong, but someone said it is the most money-making romance movie of all time and that is just plain wrong.

    Simone

    [8/11/02] I guess Al Pacino has had enough Oscar nominations, so he figures, "What the hell, this film looks fun to do!" I'm not sure why, he doesn't really have any good sex scenes with anyone, since the main female character is computer generated, and why else would he do this film? Well, who knows. But the least he could have done is toss in a coupla "Hoo-Wha!"s.

    Full Frontal

    [8/4/02] Ouch, this movie is bad! The only way I can imagine anyone really liking this film is if they are already in the movie business and can say, "Oh, that Soderbergh is so clever the way he has Julia portray an actress! Oh, and look how he uses a crappy super-8 camera to film half the movie! Pure genius! Let's lunch at Spago." If that's you by the way, I pity your poor insipid life. But thanks for reading my reviews!

    XXX

    [7/28/02] This is another one of those films that tricked me to see it because of the title. Kind of like Full Frontal. Anyway, Jenna Jamison is NOT in it, but I sure do like that up-and-coming Vin Diesel -- not in the same way, mind you. This movie tries to one-up the Bond films, but just can't do it in my book. I'm not buying any gen-Xer skaterat snowboardin' punk as a tougher secret agent than my main man Connery. Just ain't gonna happen, dog.

    Austin Powers: Goldmember

    [7/21/02] Yes, I'm going to say it. Yeah, Baby!! This third in the series was more enjoyable than I expected, with a number of extremely humorous cameos. A few jokes fall short, but with the constant bombardment of them you hardly notice! I can't imagine any more in the series, but it sets up some more in the ending... so bring them on!

    Road to Perdition

    [7/14/02] As tempted as I am to just dole out "thumb's up" to any Tom Hanks movie, this one left me not entirely satisfied. Tom's character is a bit of a sourpuss, and lacks the spontaneity of his character is, let's say, Joe Vs. The Volcano. Still, a great performance. Of course, Paul Newman and Jude Law also do great with what they are given, but the film doesn't surprise much and the ending is completely predictable.

    Men in Black II

    [6/30/02] Good sequel! Some good humor, a cameo by the gloved one (if you don't know who that is, then start watching more Entertainment Tonight), and of course a bunch o' pleasing F/X. Will Smith is on the ball with his wise-cracks and hip-hop coolness, and Tom Jones is fun to watch as he deadpans throughout. Enjoyable, but it moves so quickly, it seems that no sooner does the villianess appear on the scene, then she is defeated.

    Minority Report

    [6/23/02] Top sci-fi action flick! The plot revolves around some people who can see the future, and pretty much just use it to spot murders instead of guessing the lotto or seeing how low Cisco can go. Tom Cruise does a decent job, the action is good, and I especially liked the various visions of the future -- particularly the future of marketing and advertising. That's a future I'm not looking forward to, when I walk by Walgreens and a billboard talks to me and says, "Hey, Doug, don't forget to refill your Viagra prescription!"

    About a Boy

    [6/9/02] I had to be dragged to this movie, because, well, it looks like a damn chick-flick, and the title sounds like a gay porno. However, I found it to be pretty good! A good departure for that hooker-shagging Hugh Grant. I have to say, though, that if this was an American film instead of filmed in England it just wouldn't be half as good. Why? 'Cause we Yanks screw things up sometimes! Plus the accents are fun.

    The Sum of All Fears

    [5/26/02] Another damn Tom Clancy film, and I guess it isn't too bad. It sure as hell didn't grab me though, I'll tell you that. These dopey films keep swapping in new Jack Ryans, but at least they could make him the same age. What's next, casting damn Haley Joel Osmet as James Bond? I have to also say that I don't like Affleck. I only half-liked him in Armegedden and only for a moment in Boiler Room. And I sure as hell don't like him in this. But I like Morgan Freeman, so that cancels out.

    The Bourne Identity

    [5/19/02] The book is excellent, so this movie had a lot to live up to. And it does! Well paced, and very smartly written, it will keep you going until the end. I especially liked how the tense battle scenes didn't resort to simple head-to-head fighting. A bunch of people bagged on Damon playing this character, but I thought he pulled it off nicely. A lot better than his pansy-assed pretty-boy pal Affleck in his summer blockbuster movie.

    Spider-Man

    [5/12/02] I really dug the comic when I was a kid, and even remember reading the first spiderman issue. Of course my parents threw it out so I never got to make $3,000 off it. Curse them!! Okay, I'm calm now. The thing I liked a lot about this film is how it sticks very close to the comic in his beginnings. Well, not really close since in the movie he doesn't have web slingers. But stop the nitpicking and enjoy the ride!

    Star Wars Episode II

    [5/5/02] It seems a lot of critics are panning this film, while everyone who seems to like it has been spotted dressing up like a Stormtrooper waiting in line. Well I saw the film at the Coronet theatre (where the the last SW film premiered), and didn't spot one person dressed like a Wookie or anything! Ignore the hype and you'll find the movie a lot of fun. Great fight scenes, elaborate F/X, and they even throw in a scene where that young Natalie Portman gets her outfit sliced by a monster so it turns into a Victoria's Secret two-piece. Who can argue with that?

    Changing Lanes

    [4/21/02] Change lanes yourself before you go see this film, and head away, away, away! Like that fun play on words, did you? OK, so it wasn't that great. What the heck do you want! You think Ebert is stunning you with clever quips on every review? I don't think so. All I can really say about this movie is that it sucked, so don't go see it.

    The Scorpion King

    [4/28/02] Did you know that "The Rock" doesn't really "own" his own name? Well, it's true -- that guy Vince McMahon who runs the Wrestling Federation owns his name and took a big cut from this film for him to use it! So now The Rock needs to get a new name or continue to be Vince's be-yatch I guess. OK, so the film -- not too bad: good action, naughty Asian hottie, well played badguy. It ain't no Conan, but what is these days?

    Life or Something Like it

    [4/14/02] A fluffy romantic film, and really not too good. That broad with big lips is bad, but I really enjoy that Ed Burns no matter what he is in. Of course, he's not much of an actor per se, he's just Ed Burns. But sometimes that's enough.

    Resident Evil

    [4/7/02] I went into this picture not expecting much at all, but my pal Dom wanted to see it, so what the hell. However, I found it to have some good action, and a somewhat interesting story! Mila Jovhovich (how the heck do you spell that again?) kicks some serious boooo-tay in this zombie-laden video-game-made-movie.

    We Were Soldiers

    [3/24/02] Mel Gibson does a good job as a tough army guy who leads by example, and Sam Elliot is great as a gruff ol' bastard who give all the privates a bunch o' grief. As far as war films go, this one is a winner; it has great suspense, constant action, and a nice touch at the end. And no, Mel doesn't paint his face blue.

    The Time Machine

    [3/16/02] Argh! I had high hopes for this film, since I have to admit I love these damn time travel films! I love the idea of seeing the future -- huge cities, flying cars, holo-decks, and where people make fortunes by sitting around and writing movie reviews that nobody reads. But NO! This film shows us a future where people live in treehouses, there are no flying cars, and no movies for anyone to review. Boooorrrring.

    Black Hawk Down [Special Guest Reviewer Leigh! ]

    [3/9/02] This thriller is based largely on a true story, which makes this movie all the more realistic and shocking. It's disappointing that it's not up for "Best Picture" -- it definitely deserved to be nominated for an Oscar in that category -- so I hope Ridley Scott wins for "Best Direction." Excellent film with a cast of colorful characters. I am surprised more ladies didn't go and see this film; I think I saw only one bad looking soldier. Josh Hartnett did a great job of looking good but the main standout was "Hoot", Eric Bana. He's the next Richard Gere and, of course, he's from Australia. What new leading man isn't from Australia these days? So there is something in this for everyone, men seeking action, blood, and guts, and ladies seeking eye candy. Catch it on the big screen before it goes!

    John Q

    [2/18/02] Of course, the TV ads and trailers give the whole damn movie away, but that goes to show there isn't much substance behind the script if a 30 second ad can ruin it for me. Denzel is riveting to watch, but what the hell is Ray Liotta doing in this film? He is completely out of place, and looks like an idiot. He should stick with being a guest star on Just Shoot Me. But I have to say that even though I did enjoy Denzel's performance, especially at the end, that damn Liotta ruined the rest for me so it gets a fat thumb down.

    The Count of Monte Cristo

    [1/24/02] I've been getting a lot of pressure from my pal Leigh to read the unabridged book, so I figured I would just see the movie and lie to her! But after seeing the movie it got me excited to read the book. So now I'm wading through this damn thick book, but that's not why you're reading this review, now is it? Tough! The book is so thick it is tough for me to hold it up for too long without getting tired -- and it totally hogs my bedside table. But hey, the movie kicks ass!

    Ali

    [1/17/02] First, let me just say that if you are into Ali at all, you must see When We Were Kings! If you still need an Ali fix, then go ahead and see Ali. It's not bad, and the fight scenes are fantastic. But it lacks the heart of Kings and tries to do too much. However, I do think Voight does a better job at Cosell than Turturro.

    A Beautiful Mind

    [1/10/02] This movie is about a guy who is really smart and dull, and yet ends up bagging that naughty hot Jennifer Connelly. So all you nerds out there will dig it I suspect, but make sure you rent The Rocketeer first.

    The Royal Tennenbaums

    [1/3/02] Gene Hackman is thoroughly enjoyable in this offbeat wacky movie about an old guy whose name is Royal. The cast is good, but the story has a hard time grabbing you even though it has you guessing where the hell its going next. That guy with the crooked nose does a good job, and Ben Stiller is mostly enjoyable. Paltrow is less than amusing as she pulls out all stops to look and act like a drugged out CK model.