Doug's Movie Club!

    Ah, the old movie club! Years ago, I held a weekly movie club where about a dozen of us in San Francisco each week would get together and see a new release. It has been a long time since we've done so, but thanks to the wonder of the Internet you'll be able to read my old reviews way into the 23rd century I suspect.

    The photo you see here was taken for a Pacific Bell promotion -- they loved the movie club so much they put us in a special advertisement and we were featured in one of their monthly mailings. You can read it here!

    Now, on to the reviews! But first, the Doug rating system:

    Dig it, baby! Whatever, Daddy-O. El Sucko !

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    Legally Blonde 2

    [07/6/03] This movie is so bad, it is actually painful to watch. In fact, the script should be a case study at film school on how to screw up a sequel. You know in the (good) movie Groundhog Day, where Bill Murray is trying to woo this broad by tweaking his actions during a date that keeps re-occurring? Well, LB2 reminds me of the scene where Bill tries to re-create a spontaneous snowball fight with some kids, only to find out that you can't just re-create something and have it be the same.


    Terminator 3

    [07/6/03] The age old question: Is T3 a bad movie because Cameron wouldn't direct it, or did Cameron decide not to direct because he knew T3 would be a bad movie? In either case, the only thing that makes the movie OK is seeing Arnold reprise his role, and appreciating the F/X. Outside of that, the movie is just a rehash of T2, and almost tips over to being campy during some scenes. If they are planning on a T4, count me out, man.

    Xmen2

    [06/15/03] A good summer flick, even though I thought they would be spreading themselves a bit thin by having so many characters. The trick is to put most screen time on Wolverine and have him do his business. In fact, a spin-off film with just Wolverine should be in the works I predict.

    Hulk

    [06/8/03] Who didn't enjoy the old comic book when you were a kid? I guess some of you punk ass kids who didn't read anything that had paper pages and just played that stupid gameboy and watched TV might have missed it. But those of us with normal childhoods read it, dammit. Even though Hulk is all F/X, he is fun to watch as he smashes up the puny human's stuff, and the scenes in San Francisco were shot right down the street from me, so that is pretty cool.

    Down With Love

    [05/11/03] McGreger is perfect in this role, and that blonde chick is OK also, but the movie was a bit too campy for me. Good try, though.

    Tears of the Sun

    [05/4/03] What the hell does this title mean? Are they referring to solar flares? Or is it some mixed metaphor that I am missing here? Bruce Willis plays an unfunny soldier who goes through the jungle disobeying orders and helping people. Where's the old Willis charm? The Willis humor? The fat black sidekick who loves twinkies? Take all these things out of a Bruce Willis picture and you are asking for a fat thumbs down.

    Chicago

    [04/27/03] Not a bad movie, but I have to say that Moulin Rouge was 10 times a better musical. Plus, Mrs. Michael Douglas should stick to having babies and baking some cakes now that she is married! And don't even get me going about that Bridget Jones chick, she is all over the damn place as an actress! Get some damn focus, I say. Never say I don't like to stir up the controversy.

    The Hunted

    [04/13/03] This movie tries to be another First Blood, but just can't bring it off. First, we don't feel for the crazy guy who is a jungle killer. Second, Tommy Lee Jones is like, 72 years old or something, so I'm not buying his roaming around in the woods for days and making knives out of a piece of metal. Hell, I can't even spend a few hours in the wilderness without bitching and moaning. And I'm a tough bastard. Really!

    Old School

    [03/09/03] This comedy offered me a lot more than I bargained for. Will & Luke are funny, but Vince Vaughn is excellent as a Dad who, whenever he is cursing around his pals, tells his kid, "earmuffs" to get him to cover up his ears. This movie is a cross between Animal House and Fight Club, and tosses in a whole pack o' cameos to keep you interested. I've gotta say, though, that Will Ferrell really took his clothes off way too often. Please, stop.

    Gangs of New York

    [02/23/03] This movie has more blood than a Red Cross truck that took a lot of blood donations and then rolled over or something which caused all the blood vials to spill all the blood. Know what I mean? Pansy-boy Dicaprio doesn't convince me he is a tough fighter, and Cameron Diaz is out of place somehow. But that Danny D-Lewis makes the film with his over-the-top maniac butcher-guy role! He throws knives around, twirls hatchets, and stabs a dead pig. Wheee!

    DareDevil

    [02/16/03] You may know that I enjoy a good comic book now and then. Plus, I like that TV show Alias. So this movie was doing its best to tempt me. It does a great job with the action scenes, and provided me with amusement with its inside jokes (referring to John Romita and Jack Kirby for example), but it was a bit too dark for kids, and I didn't like how Matt Murdoch showed his fancy DareDevil skills to almost everyone while he was in his civilian clothes! He does everything he can to give away his secret identity, and in fact does so to every damn character in the film! I don't know how the hell Stan Lee signed off on that! Excelsior!

    Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

    [01/26/03] Did you know that my own Dad had Chuck Barris as his roommate in college? It's true. He never talked about the guy much, so he HAD to be in the CIA I bet. He'd always clam up when I asked, "What was Chuck like?", or "Did he ever kill anyone?" Anyway, the movie is great. God Bless the Gong Show!

    Shanghai Knights

    [01/12/03] I got a ton of laughs out of this sequel, mostly from my current favorite comic actor, Mr. Crooked Nose! He make me laugh silly. The outtakes at the end of the movie are worth sitting around for while everyone shuffles out of the theatre blocking your view.